Eight in the Can!

Hey ChuxxFans!

Your boys spent parts of four days in the studio this weekend, and spent parts of those sessions actually working on the new release, Mustardy. Many thanks to Schwa, Yllopa, and fam for hosting the affair.

When all was said and done, Senior Vice President of the ChuxxGroup Auditing Department, thos. e., declared eight (8) tunes "in the can." This leaves the entire group feeling relaxed and refreshed, and ready for future artistic discharge.

If you can't wait, you can hear some Chuxx classic tracks on the MySpaces.

Here is a redacted copy of the report:

MUSTARDY …so far

1) Mustardy Fanfare — DONE
2) With Drunk Astronauts — DONE
3) The Tourist Halts — DONE
4) Belly Dancing Superstars — DONE
5) Shower Power — DONE
6) Her Grandfather, The Robert Frost of Korea — DONE
7) Cheese Jesus — DONE
8) The Ol’ Dry Rub — DONE

Three or four more DONE's should bring the project home.



Yesterday ChuxxCo's Publicity Division brought in famed Kansas City Television celebrity Joel Nichols to observe the creative process. If Mr. Nichols' reaction to our live recording of Her Grandfather: The Robert Frost of Korea is any indicator, then Your Pals made quite an impression. We can't wait to see his final cut, which may be available for public consumption as soon as Wednesday or next week.

We also discussed album design, and marketing strategies that may well exploit these new Interwebs that everybody is talking about these days.

I can't remember everything that everybody said, but maybe The Fellows will chime in with comments.

In the nature of shameless cross-promotion, you might remember that Foz the Hook brings many ChuxxSongs to life, along with other Foz-Centric grown-up entertainments in the city of Chicago. Foz the Hook plays a residency every Wednesday night (including this Wednesday, August 11) at Cole's Bar Comedy Open Mic. Cole's is located the in Logan Square neighborhood of Chi, and is the regular hangout of !Ladies!.

Keep up with Foz the Hook at FozBlog!

Stay tuned for the comments will flood in.

Your Pal,

Foz

Dumbly in my Ringside Seat

Hold on, we're re-recording the lead vocals to Her Grandfather, The Robert Frost of Korea. Ole thos e is in the recording booth right now.

It's hot in there, but not as hot as the jams thos e is recording.

Oh my, Grandma! So sexy.

We can watch him in The Box thanks to Skype.

So far the boys have finished the following tracks from the forthcoming - much anticipated - release Mustardy are complete:

With Drunk Astronauts
Belly Dancing Superstars
Shower Power
The Tourist Halts
and then this one thos e is singing now.



We were greatly honored today to have two great old hands sit in on the session. Buster "Geemail" Koots, and Old Cornbun (you know who) joined us the last two days to add some background vocals and Theremin.

More later, me peeps,

FOZ

This Is MotorBotox

It's the song Thos E and Foz came up with while Foz was rare-booking it in Hollywood. It began with a few lines of lyrics by Foz, to which Thos added a drumbeat, to which Foz added a bass line, to which Thos added a piano line.

This process was reversed for the bridge, where Thos contributed the lyrics and bass line and Foz added the piano.

We'll try to post the MP3 shortly. But until then, please enjoy the lyrics.

MOTORBOTOX
music & lyrics by Thos E & Foz the Hook
Mona Gload moans
Feels like an old crone
Already cut to the bone

Where's a needle when a girl needs it?
Where's a needle when a girl needs it?
Nothing more that a lady can do
Now that's she's 22

Ride (Mo Motor Bo Bo Motor Botox)
Ride (Mo Motor Bo Bo Motor Botox)
Across the waves
Against the sun
To turn back the tide

She treasures a photograph of herself in a distant land
(She's off in her distant land)
She drinks from a coconut and her toes are in the sand
(Her toes are in the sand)
If she had her way, this is where she'd stay
Back where her caramel skin was always on display

Ride (Mo Motor Bo Bo Motor Botox)
Ride (Mo Motor Bo Bo Motor Botox)
Across the waves
Against the sun
To turn back the tide

Mona Gload moans
Already cut to the bone
Feels like an old crone

Where's a needle when a girl needs it?
(Motor Botox)
Where's a needle when a girl needs it?
(Motor Botox)
Nothing more that a lady can do
(Already cut!)
Now that's she's 22

Do it In the Nude*

This is cross-posted from FozBlog.

Historians and music anthropologists agree that the greatest single session in the history of recording was the 1985 date in Leawood, Kansas that resulted in Bobby and the Chuxx recording Trouble at the Circus, Theme of the Guys From France, and Manhood is a Soup for the Back of a Man's Head album. The new FtH set opener, Keep Your Nose Clean, is also from that magnificent collection.

In honor of that occasion Foz the Hook has prepared Theme of the Guys From France for live performance, and will debut it tonight at Cole's Comedy Open Mic. This is the first time, so far as can be ascertained with available technology, that Theme of the Guys From France has been performed in Chicago, or outside of Leawood, Kansas. The show starts at 9:00, so if you like blogging or going to blogs, join us at Cole's just in time.


*Nine out of ten archeologists agree that this phrase is the only remaining evidence of the song Remember My Gas from the Chuxx debut album, Live at the Graveyard. Nine out of ten ethicists agree that this is a good thing for humankind.

Chuxx a-LIVE!

Foz will be playing a set of Bobby and the Chuxx songs on Monday night, August 31, at 9:00, at Cole's Bar, 2338 W. Milwaukee in Chicago. The set will feature olde, newe, funny, and stupid songs. All sung in your favorite fashion, because you love music! Right?

If you live in Chicago, come on out. If not, move to Chicago, and come on out.

Skap

Chuxx Mentioned In Press Release

Hey, y'all, we were mentioned in this press release for our pals at Rotting Snout Studios. We have recorded all of our albums there since 2001.

PRAIRIE VILLAGE, KS - Rotting Mouse Studios is proud to announce new upgrades to our facilities in Prairie Village, KS. Improvements include newly-functional microphones and a newly constructed separate recording booth.

Thanks to some sleuthing at Interstate Batteries, we now have the use of three Nakamichi CM-300 microphones and a Sennheiser MD 441-U. The former is great for capturing acoustic instruments like guitars and uke, the latter for vocals and horns.

The microphones will sound great in the new Potter's Booth, so named for its location under the stairs and lock on the outside. It features room for two musicians (three if one of them is wee), gear, and cable runs for microphones and headphones. The new headphone mixer will deliver custom mixes to the headphones, along with talkback capabilities. A webcam in the booth will allow for broadcasting live video and capturing the crazy antics of the musicians.

Bring your recording business to Rotting Mouse Studios or we'll leave a real rotting mouse on your doorstep (just kidding)!

Rotting Mouse Studios, LLC is located in Prairie Village, KS. Frequented by the talent represented on the Chubb Records Recording Label, artists who record at Rotting Mouse Studios include: Glen and the Fin Merchants, the Perry Blather Conspiracy, Bobby & the Chuxx, Gary O'Nemo, Tulip Craze, SlobberFly, Pie Trajectory, Tongueprint, Voltaire & Swift, and Col. K & the Hit Squad.

Copyright 2009 Rotting Mouse Studios, LLC

Congrats, Rotting Mouse! Can't wait to get back in and do some more work on our latest album, MUSTARDY! Those working microphones are going to come in handy!

Cheese Jesus

Once again, the Chuxx get timely.
http://bit.ly/195gKw

Of Astronauts, Tourists & Cheese

While I sat on my veranda in Los Angeles having starlets peel me grapes, the three other Chuxx gathered in Steve's Basement (the official Chuxx recording location) to lay down some more Mustardy tracks.

The gents worked on two songs Skap and I collaborated on, in that I wrote lyrics that he then put to music. Which I guess makes me Bernie Taupin and him Elton John. That's probably a fair comparison. The two songs in question are "With Drunk Astronauts" and "The Tourist Halts." The former a meditation on the historically documented drinking habits of our space heroes; the latter a little ditty about ugly Americans abroad. The other track they worked on was "Cheese Jesus".

Mostly what the gents did on this day was adding some guitar and keyboard to the existing tracks, although they did fill out "Astronauts" with lots of vocals, including a hilariously operatic track from Polly.

Now, it's up to me to add to the tracks from my home in Los Angeles. I guess that means I'll have to finally install that recording software I've had sitting in my office for the last three months.

I suppose Steve or Skap or someone will have something to add to this account, provided they get off their duffs and actually post on our blog.

A Headline Ripped from the Archives of Bobby and the Chuxx

The AP reports that police nabbed a man with frozen shrimp in his pants. I know. Times are tough. Perhaps the fellow was just trying to feed his family and friends at an olde fashioned shrimp boil.

The incident fits perfectly with one of the earliest hits of Bobby and the Chuxx ever recorded. The song was "Don't Hit Me, I'm Full of Shrimp" from the early 1990s. (Free download!)

The title came from the side of a seafood truck Jon Niccum and I saw on I-435. Apparently people kept ramming into their trucks before they painted this on their vehicles. I can hear the safety manager speaking at an "All-Hands" meeting.

"Okay people, listen up. Accidents are up in the workplace here at Luverne's Seafood Delites. Last month alone we had three injured backs, a slipped disc, and one split skull. Most of these came on the loading dock, where shrimp sometimes fall out of their containers and make for a dangerous footing. But there's a bright spot. Highway fatalities are down 8%, thanks to Jenkins's idea of putting that clever saying on the side of our panel trucks. Way to go, Jenkins. You get one more personal day next month. Now be careful out there!"

Hat tip: Rick Tamblyn

Behind the Scenes

One of the draws of a blog like this (this blog has draws?) is getting a behind-the-scenes look at what a band does. You've seen the posts describing how we write songs, and what we're recording.

But what about promotion? The Chuxx are on myspace, facebook (somewhere), and Last.fm. I have just added us to iLike, which is a facebook add on, but also a site in its own right. You can make your self a fan of Bobby and the Chuxx, and then I get notifications in aggregate form. For instance, here is our first graph of statistics:


So indicate you iLike us and become a fan on myspace. We clearly need some numbers.

The Revare Family Ghostly Children Screamers

Today Jon and I got together to record some vocals, clean up the drums, add even more guitar parts (which now number 6), and do some rough mixing of "Shower Power." Jon's daughter, an avid Chuxx fan, always said she wanted to appear on a Chuxx song. When the time came, she proved too shy. My children, however, sang, "Water water everywhere, to cover up your STINK." They sang it so intensely it sounds a little like they are angry. It was because of their performance that Skap named them "The Revare Family Ghostly Children Screamers."

Shower Sessions, Day 2

Today, Jon went back to work and Skap and I continued working. We first recorded some vocals for "Shower Power!' The idea is to have a group of people (including children) singing on this song. Skap's part was a character voice, the main adult voice singing the song. He did some excellent verbal gymnastics with the meter. This one will be funny-haha.

We also began work on "The Tourist Halts." Skap did some fancy acoustic geetar strummin' and piano playing. He also sang a scratch tracks. This song has some great lyrics.

Skap broke out the Uke for a "Ole Dry Rub". We used a pickup to get the right sound for the ukelele, but we also used live mics pointed right at it. It sounds great. He laid down keyboards and a scratch vocal track. Drums are nothing but a click track at this point. The idea of the song is to make it sound like a cheap burlesque band. I think we can pull that off.

Shower Power!

Skap was in town for our 25th High School Reunion, so he stopped by today. Jon took the day off of work and he came by as well. We began work on Shower Power, recording the scratch guitar track, some keyboard tracks, and horn tracks. These are virtual horns, though there's chatter out there about using some real horns. We will see.

It is turning out very nicely and we hope to have a demo for people to listen to really soon.

Power Up!

Today the Chuxx (or rather 75% of the band) will gather to record. The new album is taking shape, and promises to be even stupider than we could have wished.

Today's goal: Shower Power!

There will also be a session tomorrow, so scrub your junk, and get ready for some hygiene!

Shower Power!

I got this idea for a song that I envisioned as being from a series of “hip” commercial spots that ran during the “ABC After School Special” aimed at promoting teen cleanliness in the 1970s.

Musically, I took inspiration from this British band called The Go! Team, and in particular this tune: http://youtube.com/watch?v=p_LoSqyNmeo

Overmodulated drums and horn parts. Teen chanting. Very bombastic and aggressive.

So I ran the idea by Steve, and we concocted these lyrics. (The music is composed as well.):

Shower Power!
By Bobby Wendalo and Schwa

Shower power
Shower power
Everybody in the shower. Right now!

So you've spent a hot day with friends at the arcade
And you've biked to the dime store for a lemonade
Then you wrestled that kid who's in the seventh grade
You're probably sweaty
Don't try to figh it

You reapplied deodorant by spraying 'neath your shirt
Washed your face with Phisoderm to get off all the dirt
Tried Dad's Aqua Velva, applied in one long squirt
Still you don't smell ready
You need to right it

You've graduated from a bath
Get on the adult path

Shower power
Shower power
Everybody in the shower. Let's go!

Put on your birthday suit and step under the spout
Grab a bar of Lifebuoy and rip that sucker out
Lather up your goodies without a whine or pout

You've graduated from a bath
Don't suffer your parents' wrath

Shower power
Shower power
Everybody in the shower. On the count of three!

Water, water everywhere to cover up your stink.

Shower power
You're an adult now, kid
Shower power
Wet is cool
Shower power
etc.

Googling Chuxx

Sure, I have a job and all. But it is still important to spend quality time Googling "Chuxx."

I was saddened to find that the German band ChuxX appears to have taken down there MySpace page. Did they go out of biz? Who knows?

Also, in case any of our fans was hoping to get chuxx@yahoo.com for their e-maiul address, it is taken.

But in the spirit of international cooperation among Bobby and the Chuxx fans, can anyone help Engr.Chibuzo find out who the current senators from Akwa Ibon state are?

Here is the request in full.

Author: Engr.Chibuzo Email: chuxx@yahoo.com Date: 8/20/2007 Comment: can you give me the names of the current 2007 Senators from Akwa Ibom state.

Someone Should Write It

It might be me, but then again, it might not be.

That is: a new song called, "Secret Bra."

Update on "(Catch) The Spirit (of 17)"

This song was conceived as part of "What You're Watching," a sketch comedy show we put together back in 2000. There are a couple of funny promotional parodies on there for a fictional station, KSUP, Super17. My idea was to parody those silly songs TV stations used to do with the anchors walking around town and pretending that they hang out with each other all the time. I envisioned a male voice doing the vocals, kind of like the guy who does those Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercials. Soon after I wrote the lyrics (here's an earlier post on the song), I found out my friend Richard Malmos was coming to town for his bi-annual float trip. He's a big-time L.A. voiceover guy. While he is away from L.A., he still does his sessions in a studio and they patch him through to his stations with a fancy phone line.

So I sent him the a scratch version of the song with sample vocals (a hilarious performance by Skap). So Rick has his daily session down at Wheeler Audio, a really nice post-production audio facility here in the Crossroads district of Kansas City.

So I go down there, and Janet Jameson is engineering the session. Janet is a very talented engineer and musician, so it was quite an honor to have her helping us out. Rick finished up his session (there was a lot of "Tomorrow night at 8!" type of a thing, and some fun movie stuff) and then he went in the booth and we got going.

The performance is absolutely hilarious. As he's doing his thing, Janet says, "He's channeling Neil Diamond!"

It turned out funnier than I imagined. Rick did an outstanding job and I'm anxious to get the rest of the music done.

Postscript: Skap and I had tossed around some ideas for what the vocalist should do at the end of the song, and we came up with some riffs on "he's infected, we're infected, she's infected." It has a couple of meanings, mainly that the song itself is obnoxiously infectious. And it really gives the song an ominous tone when you say something like "Now YOU'RE infected, baby!"

On This Day, A Cheese Jesus Is Born

Steve and I got together today to record the basic tracks for "Cheese Jesus", another song that had its genesis on the emails. A quick recap here:

• April 23: Steve sends me a 5-point email, the fifth point of which is just the phrase, "I like cheese." It is a reference to an odd sketch we once shot for our cable access comedy show, in which a weird old man (played by Skap, if memory serves) bugs a nice gentleman (played by our friend Stu) in a train station (I think) by simply asking him, "You like cheese, boy? I like cheese." This is my recollection of it, inaccurate as it may be.

• April 24: I answer Steve's 5-point email with a 7-point email, addressing each of his questions or statements in order. In response to "I like cheese," I write, "Of course you like cheese. Jesus!" Point 6 is then "Of course you like Cheese Jesus." And Point 7: "Please write Cheese Jesus. The lyrics cannot exceed 75 words."
• April 25: Steve sends along the lyrics to "Cheese Jesus", totaling 67 words.
• May 6: I tell Steve that I woke up with the music to "Cheese Jesus" in my head. I also write (while in the shower) an additional stanza, to give the song a nice two-stanzas-then-chorus-then-two-stanzas-then-chorus structure. My additional stanza jacks the word count to 86, but, as I say in the email, "if you only count Cheese Jesus once, the word count is 74."

So Steve and I got together for a quick three-hour session to lay down the song's basics: a simple drum track, a simple keyboard track and about five vocal tracks. When I came up with the music (on May 6), I had imagined the song as an a capella tune. But in the intervening days, I moved away from that idea, wisely I think. We might end up calling the song "Cheesus," if we find that funnier.

It was at the end of this session that Steve tallied up the Mustardy songs in the works on his computer, informing me that we now have 14 songs in various stages of disrepair. If we are organized about it, I feel confident we can have another album by this time next year. Maybe even sooner. But probably not sooner. We're lazy like that.

UPDATE: (re: word count) I forgot that I added two words to the lyrics. And upon recounting, it appears that the lyrics hit the target of 75 exactly, provided you only count the chorus once and the phrase "cheese Jesus" once.

Happy Dancing Children

Last night I was having a few beers with a couple of friends, and once again learned that "Mr. Poorluck Buys Some China" has a strange effect on children. My friend, Dale, urged me to market the CD to "soccer moms everywhere," because his two kids (6 and 4 I think) were crazy in love with Bobby and the Chuxx. He said it was the best way to keep them entertained in the car. High praise when there is a DVD option involved.

He couldn't remember many specifics, but once again "Frank Has No Pants" was identified as a particular favorite of young children. I am not sure there is good reason to be proud of that, but for my part I am quite proud. And I think having the whole family sit down and listen to the Chuxx might be a great way for parents to open up that difficult conversation about whether children should or should not talk to strange men who are naked from the waist down. It is just so hard to decide who children should trust.

Parents could also hold family meetings to listen to "Herr Germy," and discuss the importance of vigorous hand washing before supper. Other important lessons regarding picnicing with fat men, real estate, preparation of pork chops, due diligence in bartering with Arabs, how to pick up Asian chicks, and the history of human waste disposal can all be illustrated by listening to Bobby and the Chuxx as a family.

So let us reconsider our sales strategy, and begin to aggressively market the Chuxx to children. Let us not permit the tobacco companies to corner that market.