Happy Dancing Children

Last night I was having a few beers with a couple of friends, and once again learned that "Mr. Poorluck Buys Some China" has a strange effect on children. My friend, Dale, urged me to market the CD to "soccer moms everywhere," because his two kids (6 and 4 I think) were crazy in love with Bobby and the Chuxx. He said it was the best way to keep them entertained in the car. High praise when there is a DVD option involved.

He couldn't remember many specifics, but once again "Frank Has No Pants" was identified as a particular favorite of young children. I am not sure there is good reason to be proud of that, but for my part I am quite proud. And I think having the whole family sit down and listen to the Chuxx might be a great way for parents to open up that difficult conversation about whether children should or should not talk to strange men who are naked from the waist down. It is just so hard to decide who children should trust.

Parents could also hold family meetings to listen to "Herr Germy," and discuss the importance of vigorous hand washing before supper. Other important lessons regarding picnicing with fat men, real estate, preparation of pork chops, due diligence in bartering with Arabs, how to pick up Asian chicks, and the history of human waste disposal can all be illustrated by listening to Bobby and the Chuxx as a family.

So let us reconsider our sales strategy, and begin to aggressively market the Chuxx to children. Let us not permit the tobacco companies to corner that market.

Next Chuxx Album Proposal

Bobby and the Chuxx Presents
Family Choice Brand Popular Music Album
Featuring your family’s favorite music selections.
1. Song.
2. Sad Song.
3. “Rock – ‘n’ – Roll” ‘Song.’
4. Funny Song.
5. Kids’ Favorite Song.
6. Stupid Emo-Sounding Song.
7. Neil Diamond Cover.
8. Neil Diamond Rip-Off.
9. Dad’s Hooker (is Mom).

Nebraska, Alaska

A quick Google search reveals the location of the real KSUP Steve wrote about in the last post. There is a KSUP, but it's not in the continental United States. Also, it is not a TV station.

KSUP is Juneau, Alaska's "maximum music" station, Mix 106. Less than a year ago, it changed from a rock format (when it was "maximum rock" appropriately) to the Adult Top 40 station it is today.



It is unclear whether they have a "girl in sports." But they do have The Morning Brew with Mike Lane and Rockin' Ron Davis. After that, there's not much info to add. Their website is very sad and seems as if it was designed in 1995.

(Catch) The Spirit (of 17)

Skap and I worked on music for some lyrics I wrote. for a parody of a 1980s television station jingle. It's called "(Catch) The Spirit (of 17)" and is for the fictional KSUP, South Central Nebraska's Super 17.

(Catch) The Spirit (of 17)
For KSUP, Super17
By Schwa

There’s a certain kind of feeling
You get when you turn us on
It’s a fresh, familiar reeling
And you know it can’t be wrong

Catch the spirit!

We’ve an integrated anchor team
Bringing you the news
But we’re American as ice cream
As comfy as comfy shoes

Catch the spirit
You know you gotta
Catch the spirit

Not just stories of people who died
We’re more than glum reports
Come and see our fun side
We even got a girl in sports

(Girl in Sports Bridge)

Cast aside your doubts ol’ bean
Forget about being unsure
You’re infected with the Spirit of Seventeen
For which there is no cure

Catch the spirit
You know you gotta
Catch the spirit
The Spirit of Seventeen

Catch the spirit
You better
Catch the spirit
The Spirit of Seventeen

Copyright 2008, SchwaSongs

The music is typically schmaltzy and somewhat pat, until you get to the Girl in Sports Bridge, which is in 5/4 time. It's designed to break up the standard feel to the song, and Skap added a little vocal call that makes it absolutely hilarious. Can't wait for Jeff and Jon to add their parts. Should be fun.

Russell's Private Headquarters

Skap and I got together yesterday to record a couple of things. We laid out the basic keyboard track for "(Catch the Spirit) The Spirit (of 17)," which I will discuss in a separate post.

While working on that song, Skap remarked on a picture I had on my Mac's desktop. It was of my son inside a little ring of sand on the beach in Sand Diego. I explained that it was Russell's Private Headquarters, something my daughter thought up and made for her brother to sit in. Skap thought that might make a great Chuxx song title. I agreed, and we discussed it a little bit at lunch. Our initial ideas are about a spy who get irritated because every time he returns home from a mission, the milk has spoiled, the made cleaned up his desk, and the gun rack is dusty.

We finished the basic tracks for "(Catch the Spirit) The Spirit (of 17)," and what happened next will tell you a lot about the Chuxx. We were about to mess around with adding a keyboard part to one of the other songs that will be on the next album. I selected a sound on the Mac for Skap, an emulation of a Rhodes Suitcase Mark II. He began playing a Ray Charles-y riff. I added a drum loop and we decided we had the beginnings of "Russell's Private Headquarters." I'll keep you posted as the song develops.

How We Write Songs, Pt. 3

Thos e. has posted two cogent analyses of how Chuxx songs get written.

Today we follow "Chuxx R&D" in real time (almost).

While we discussed via e-mail what "The Tourist Halts" will ultimately look, sound, and smell like Thos sent this notice, which you would understand if you had about thirty years of background context on Chuxxian Sociology.

"Also, I think YOU can post this on the Chuxxblog. Quit crying your eyes out, drinking your gin out of a jelly jar in the dark in your underwear and DO SOMETHING!!!!"

Which quickly yielded a quatrain of some brilliance from the same source:

You got gin in my peanut butter!
You got peanut butter in my gin!
Two great tastes in one candy bar!
New Reese's Gin Butter Cups!

Stay tuned to see where this goes, if anywhere....

Foz

How We Write Songs, Pt. 2

While "surfing" these "Internets", I frequently stop at a hilarious site called Engrish.com. And during a recent stop, I came across this image:

And based solely on the phrase "The Tourist Halts", I wrote these lyrics:

THE TOURIST HALTS
--thos e

The tourist halts
Stops in the rain
He stares at nothing, frozen in his place
The tourist wonders
If that was all there is
To the Vatican

The tourist halts
Stares at the face
The smiling face everyone makes such a fuss about
The tourist ponders
Just what the deal might be
About this Lisa chick

Back home
In Atchison, Kansas
Living rooms are carpeted in shags
And back home
In Geronimo, Texas
Mailboxes are painted like flags

The tourist halts
And shakes his head
It seems he got off the bus for a bunch of nothing
The tourist frowns
And looks with disdain
At a stupid pile of rocks

Back home
In Stockton, California
Beer hats are sold in all shops
And back home
In Absecon, New Jersey
Squirrels are dressed up like cops

The tourist halts
Stays in his room
Pretends he’s already gone down to join the group
The tourist sighs
And counts the colored paper
Stuffed into his wallet

© 10 March 2008 Those Chuxx Songs (ASCAB)